Exits Along the Highway

You would think that by now everything would be ironed out as far as the divorce... I mean it's been almost a year... Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just getting started... That sentence within itself brings mixed emotions!

SAD... I'm ready to get on with my life... I'm ready for the good times to roll for me and the boys... even if those good times are just in the backyard grillin (which by the way- they LOVE)... I don't want them to have to suffer anymore over all of this divorce stuff and no matter how hard I try they are indeed suffering!

ANGRY... I'm angry because he (being my soon to be ex) won't let go... He is the one that wanted something different in life... He is the one that wanted another family... And in the end when it came out and I wasn't going thru this whole 'I love my husband unconditionally and will stand beside him and defend him against everyone no matter what he does or has done to me and these boys' scenerio again- well, then it became a different story! He will have to let me go now... because I too, want a different life, if only to be alone and in peace with my kids!

EXCITED... Sometimes you are too close to the problems to realize what they are... I have spent a lot of effort on a marriage and a man that did not appreciate what was here... I'm not mad about that... I'm proud that I was the one that felt real love for my home life and the people in it... but now, I am excited about exploring all the things that I have missed out on in life! I'm excited about my boys getting to explore all the things that they have been missing out on... all the guy things that a dad should have been doing with his sons...

CHEERFUL... I laugh and I smile more now than I have in many, many years! I've always loved having fun... cutting up... being a kid at heart... I'm glad that gal is back again!! And so are those around me that, over the years, watched her slowly slip away...

'Til next time... Smile!
Bonnie