And a Life I Have...

I'm starting to realize that as much as I WANT to keep up with posting to my blog, my life is just too busy now... my mind stays too full of things I want to learn about, find out about, etc...

I have decided to just blog when I can... I guess it will be better than nothing ::winks::

An update on me and life:

Well, I am staying busy like I said... my guys (aka sons) keeps me busy... but as I have posted before life has been about learning to get happy with myself... I did go out to eat at a restaurant by myself... I have a lot of divorced friends that say that they could never do that... I am gonna tell you that it is the most SATISFYING feeling that you will ever have with yourself after going through a divorce... I cannot speak for the rest of you but you should try it, also...

I have gotten more social... as much as I can stand to and still deal with the fibromyalgia... I have joined some craft classed here that are taught by a good friend of mine... I totally enjoy these and I have met some really nice people in the time spent there (not to count all the beautiful projects we have done and stuff I have learned)... Yes, the classes kill me- I usually can't hardly stand after sitting for that long (even though I try to get up and move around during class a few times) but several days of rest and I'm back for more...

I have my niece and nephew over more... they absolutely LOVE to come spend the night with me... We have recently learned how to GEOCACHE... and that has been amazing!! It is definitely our new favorite hobby and I am sure it will involve a little bit of traveling this summer... We are trying really hard to get their parents hooked on the hobby then they can drive us... lol... We have spent several weekends so far doing this and most of their Spring Break was spent at my house with me... I love that they are getting older and they are a huge help to me... they understand more now about my fibromyalgia so if I need to rest a few hours in the chair, they are happy to watch a movie...

I have recently started trying to cook more often... wait... don't jump for joy just yet... nothing elaborate... mostly something in the crockpot or the microwave or a quick casserole in the oven... anything that I do not have to stand for long periods to prepare... and in the process of getting back to my cooking- I am trying to only cook enough for those eating... no leftovers... we are not good about eating leftovers... or rather, ALEX is not good at eating leftovers... it's hard to cook for just two people but I am learning... This in turn should help my grocery bill... that would be nice!

I have done many craft projects in the last year or so... many scrapbook layouts... maybe I will get a chance later to take some pictures and post some of them... I would love for you to see... I have so many things that I still want to do... SOOOOO I better get off of here and get busy...

'til next time... Bonnie

A New Year

2009... A New Year rolls in again

New Year's Resolutions??

I gave up making New Year's Resolutions years ago when it finally hit me that I was just setting myself up for failure over and over again every year...lol

I have decided this year to make a New Year's Resolution of something that I WANT to do- not something that I NEED to do... maybe that is the difference in actually succeeding...

My resolution this year is to take a picture a day! That is right- one picture! I can, of course, take more if I want but the goal is at least one...

I am hoping with this goal, I will love the fact that my camera is always in my purse and maybe, just maybe it will make me a better photographer along the way!!

Wanna join me??

You can find more info here

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Life is Good!

Life is good here... my Ex is finally paying his child support as directed by the courts... now if only his employer would keep up sending it in!

We visit often with family...

I have learned a few things about myself over the course of the last 4 years... I am getting to a place in life where I am happy with me... that was hard after being married for 25 years and centering my life around my husband and two boys... I am starting to feel like I want to get out more, be more social... even go out and do things by myself... the movies, dinner, etc... That's not to say that I don't want company ever... I just want to add to the mix!

Life is Good...

You know it's going to be a bad day
when you jump out of bed
and
miss the floor.

Humor for the Day

You're NOT drunk if...

... you can lie on the floor without it moving!!

Have a safe weekend everyone...

Feeling Kind of BLAH today...

I'm just feeling kind of BLAH today... not sure why... I have had lots of great things happen in the last week or so... and many more coming up!!

Some trips with the boys... we are going to see the BRAVES play soon!!

So what is it??

I need a 'perk me up adventure'

Hmmmm.... the beach??
the mountains??

I thought you could do better... I guess I was Wrong!

Well... here we go again!!

I thought you said that you wanted to do 'the right thing' ??
I guess my idea of the 'right thing' and your idea of the
'right thing' must be on two separate sides of the
universe...

I go to court and WILLINGLY agree to let you
modify child support (without so much as a whimper as to
how much money you are hiding from the court that you are
making)... we BOTH agree... to the judge that this NEW
amount was reached on our own free will...

TWO WEEKS!!!
You managed to do the 'right thing' for TWO WEEKS...
Then you call and the answering machine is full and
you cannot leave a message so you call your attorney to
notify me of money that is being sent and that is it!

Makes me wonder what your motives REALLY are??

Do you think by doing the 'Right thing' that I HAVE
to answer the phone and talk to you?? Fact is, it's
do the 'right thing' or go to jail... regardless of whether
I EVER PICK UP THAT PHONE AGAIN!!!!

I, frankly, don't think that you will EVER do the
'Right thing'....

See you in court!

Aaron chillin with his computer and headphones.

Sometimes It Takes A Lot of Effort....

Some years it takes quite a few outtakes to get a good picture... you know where all of us are smiling at the same time?? Looking at the camera when we are smiling?? Kids not playing in the dirt?? Teenagers not sticking their tongues out??

Well, this year was no different but we finally got it done!!

Three Strikes and You're OUT !!

Three strikes and you're out....

That's what my new favorite phrase is gonna be!! I checked the mail this afternoon after spending the last week getting contempt figures ready for my attorney and GUESS WHAT WAS IN THE MAIL...

A letter from my attorney's office forwarded from the judge saying that he will consider my ex's motion for a new trial and also hear my attorney's arguements at the same time... Ok, I just about blew a gasket on that one!! There has got to be an end to the madness my ex is putting me thru... I mean, deal with it- I'm not your's anymore... And no matter what you put me thru I will still leave smiling just knowing that I am finally DIVORCED from you!!!!

I figure sometime during that conference I can surely squeeze in the statement that if he was actually MADE to pay his child support or ANY child support at all- he probably would not have had the money to hire his THIRD attorney... I mean, geez... surely the judge can see if the first two couldn't do anything with him cuz he wouldn't even listen to his own attorney... what else can the third one possibly add to the mix????

What burns my a** up is the fact that the paperwork that was sent to the judge contained absolutely nothing truthful... and not by my opinion but it had all already been proved different in the temporary hearing... So, am I to expect that every time he gets the notion to run out and tell the same lame story to another attorney - I will then have to PAY for my attorney to go to court and defend me against the same stuff we have already proved???

There has got to be an end to the madness... I WILL have a life and there is absolutely NO WAY that my ex is wiping this smile off of my face...

I'll be there for that hearing with bells on my toes and one helluva smile on my face!!

He Owes HOW MUCH???

Well, it's been TWO days now... yep... working on contempt figures for my attorney... You would think that my ex would just try to do the right thing and neither one of us would have to go thru all of this!! I have had to go thru firgures for the last 18 months (since the agreement was retroactive back to when it was signed)... Much has changed during that time, so I have had to find starting and stopping dates of debts, etc...

Figures so far are showing he is behind well over $70,000!! I'm thinking it might be a bit difficult to just run over to one of your relatives and BORROW that much money... Right, I said borrow!! I am not sure that the man has sent one penny that he has not borrowed... even though he has had the ability to make well over what is owed!!

I'm hoping that me and the boys get some relief this time... Jail is not where I would have rather seen him but maybe it will be his wake-up call.... the boys deserve a DAD!!!

Father's Day

Happy
Father's Day
to all my friends and family
that are wonderful dads!!!

I hope you have the best
day ever...

And to my own daddy-
I LOVE you daddy...
:: insert sweet daughter grin here ::

Important Things in Life 101

Life... we just keep going! It's a vicious cycle that some people never change til the day they die... For the record- I DO NOT want to be labeled as one of those people!! What are the important things in your life?? Do you actually spend anytime doing them?? Seeing those people?? Or do you just keep waiting til you get ENOUGH TIME??

I want each and every one of you to take the time this weekend to do one single thing that you have been putting off doing because you just don't have the time...

...and then I want you to let me know what you did!!

Virtual hugs to ya....

A few of my summer favorites

Load the cooler with
cold beer and sodas...
top it off with lots of ice!!











Livin' by the pool...














Or headin to the beach...












Keep the grill fired up all summer!!
Steaks, chicken, kabobs,
you name it - we're cookin' it!!










No School routines for now!!
I think I love this more than
Alex does...

What do you think ??

I say ............... and you think ............... ?

1. Legitimate :: ...............
2. Angel :: ...............
3. Question :: ...............
4. Ready :: ...............
5. Greed :: ...............
6. Affliction :: ...............
7. Ocean :: ...............
8. Foolish :: ...............
9. Digital :: ...............
10. Chalkboard :: ...............

Week 1 taken from Unconcious Mutterings

Happy Easter

Happy
Easter
to
You !!

Free At Last

It's been a long, long time coming but when my attorney looked at me and smiled and said "You're Divorced"... those were the two sweetest words that I thought I would ever hear!!

I KNOW that it will be a constant battle in court to get him to live up to that agreement but now he is faced with two choices:

• Sincerely TRY to do what you can - this in his mind is of course, borrow what you can to send to Bonnie and the boys... because in his own words "It's MY money and I'm gonna have a life" ... Well, at least in jail you do get free clothes and meals...
• OR do exactly what you told the judge you would do- don't pay a dime and come back so that you can be taken to jail quietly... I think that someone should probably explain to him that just because you are put in jail does not mean that you will not owe the same thing when you get out...

I got what I went in there after- even though he was whining (and showed up without an attorney I might add) about he needed MORE TIME... geez, it's been almost 15 months... more time for WHAT??- I walked outta that courtroom with the agreement standing and my divorce final...

There have been a lot of smiles in my life since that moment... I'm happier... my boys are happier... my family is definitely happier... my friends are ecstatic...

His family will try to help him get the money to fight and amend the agreement thru court but now the shoe is on the other foot... Let them support him long enough for him to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on an attorney and court costs until someone finally tells him that the only thing that can be amended now according to income is the child support!!

And in the mean time - I can go on with my life!!

And in a blur...

... of a moment, it was all here and done!

Yep- talkin about Christmas! That one day that we all literally kill ourselves gettin ready for and in a flash before our eyes it's all gone... Well, let me rephrase that- it's almost gone... we have what look's like an explosion of (insert your favorite retailer here) in our living rooms! And Heaven help the trashman this coming week...

I thought I was actually cutting back this year... you know... being more sensible! SENSIBLE during Christmas Holidays?? Is that even POSSIBLE??

I did manage to squeeze some clothes in the mix for the boys... was tired of seeing Alex's pants falling off and hearing him say I don't have any shirts (translation= "I don't have any shirts that I wanna wear") ... And I have to smile widely that so far (fingers still crossed) everything FITS great!! No return, wooohooo!!!

Then add into the mix tons of games, games, games... yep- it was definitely another Circuit City Christmas here... PC games, game cube, PS2, just to name a few... I have actually enjoyed gettin to take the time this year to sit and watch them play some of their games though... Have I ever done this before?? Hmmmm, I am sure that I must have but it seemed to be higher on the priority list this year.

I was really worried about Aaron's amp.... could visualize neighbors knocking at the door going "Ummmm... could you please turn that down a bit over here?" But I have been pleasantly surprised that he has been very responsible so far- nothing has been knocked off the walls and he has kept it to a gentle rumble and not long at a time - I think he is testing the waters right now- ya know, see how much mom can take before she says something....lol.... Frankly, what he doesn't realize is that I love listening to him play his guitar!

Somehow, we didn't get the Christmas cards sent out to anybody except the scrapbooking group that did the card list... I did not make the fudge this year... My daddy did not get cookies Christmas day (and I still feel guilty about this one- gonna have to bake them today)... I did not visit each and every single friend that I have... Absolutely NOTHING was wrapped perfect like it was supposed to be photographed for Good Housekeeping Magazine... We didn't let mom cook for two day just so we could all stuff our bellies...

... and the list goes on and on and on but all in all it was still one of the best Christmas Holiday Seasons that we have ever had!! Maybe, just maybe it was because we spent more time enjoying each other instead of all of our time getting ready to enjoy each other!

Virtual Hugs.....

I Can't Get Enough....

One of my favorite Christmas presents...
And I am in love with this cd!

Mmmmmmm...........

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000996IB/qid=1135605171/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl15/104-2976534-1077534?v=glance&s=music&n=507846

My To Do List Consist Of....

...Go Look at Christmas Lights













... Bake More Cookies for the Boys








... Listen to my All-time Favorite Christmas cd












... Mail last minute stuff (yeah, it's gonna be late)















... Finish Shopping for the boys

News Well Deserved....

I have never been one to play on someone else's bad news or times. It just doesn't seem like the thing that a decent person, brought up in a good family would do BUT....

... I got a very unexpected phone call yesterday. Yep, you guessed it- from the husband that just won't let go. Now, mind you, that I have had to PAY my attorney every single month without fail (sometimes twice in one month) to get this man to send one single dime to even FEED his own kids. Yeah, he is under a court order but that doesn't matter to him... second time around with that deal - he hasn't faced the music from the first contempt yet so what the hell, right?? Three years income taxes still probably not address (fixing to be four) but nothing has come of that yet so what the hell, right?? WRONG!!

His attorney has told him that he cannot represent him any longer... omg! News of the century right there... His attorney has cancer and has been taking chemo treatments and this has been why I have been unable to get him into court (ONCE in over a yr- pathetic)...

SOOOO... when he first called... I got the distinct impression that this man was trying to say he wanted to start talking and see if we could work things out and maybe COME BACK HERE????

Ok- Brain goes dead!!

Surely, I have misunderstood what I thought I heard?? So, I continue to listen... Eyebrows raising... yep, think that is EXACTLY what he is trying to say... You have got to be kidding!! So, without further ado- cut that one off at the pass- Ummm, I STILL want a divorce!! Geez, how many times do I have to say that one little sentence for it to soak into your pea sized brain?? Thinkin to myself -I don't hate you for what you have done- you're just not the kinda man that I wanna grow old with, ok??

Ok, so now we have that part outta the way... here comes the REAL story... CAN'T keep paying the money... HA!! Somebody pick me up off the floor- I think we just hit 25 years of marital problems on the head right there with that sentence... Cuz how he sees this is- He just can't do it so somebody else will have to! Not- well, hell! Guess if I DON'T wanna go to jail- I MIGHT better stop buying cigarettes for me and my girlfriend and I might better stop buying beer and getting stopped for open container (and being posted in a local paper) and I might better stop feeding someone else's kids while my girlfriend tells her ex that if he keeps his mouth shut in court that she won't make him pay child support right now!! I might wanna think about gettin a second job or finding more work or tell my girlfriend that she has to get a job?? Hmmmm.... So, as usual- he has once again (even though I have filed for a divorce) looked to Bonnie to fix this problem!!!!

Well, I hate to be the one to lower the boom here on ya bud BUT Bonnie gave up the caregiver, keep you safe, do whatever needed to be done, ask her mom for the money nice wife the day you came home and told me you were seeing someone... AGAIN- Don't hate you for that- it has actually been a relief but you should now be looking to someone else to fix your problems!

He says that he has BORROWED out- Oh, I am sure of that one... I feel sorry for the family, but I tried to tell them and I was such the bad person...

Do I feel sorry for him?? In a way, yeah I do... I know that it is insane for me to feel that way... I have known the whole time that it would take jail for him to realize that you have to do what the court orders you to do- I am sorry that it has come to this- but you have to stand accountable in life for your reponsibilities, not just the things that you wanna do! What did you do to try to stand accountable for your kids?? You BORROWED money!! Did you even try to see them?? No!! Did you even try to call them?? No!! Now that you see handcuffs in your future you want someone to FIX the problem....

... Think it's a little late for that one!

Someone is Watchin Over Me

I have to share with you guys how my Monday went ...

I was scheduled to go to the Dr outta town... had to be there at 1:30pm... Usually my mom goes with me... She usually drives and we leave Albany anywhere from an hour and 15 min to an
hour and half before we have to be there.

Now that you know that - you should also know this- My mom has really weird coincidences sometimes... she always has! She found herself lookin at black pant suits the day after
Thanksgiving thinking to herself that it would be nice to wear to a funeral.... She did not tell anyone about this until later and said she would not have bought it anyway cuz she
would have already had something to wear.

Last week we got a phone call that my mom's half brother had passed away from a massive heart attack... Again, she had a really bad feeling about traveling to the funeral (to Chattanooga, Tenn)... She would not go by herself... my dad is having serious knee problems
right now... and she was afraid that between that and the divorce hearing coming up it would stress me enough to cause me to be bedridden for several days... She had such a strong feeling about that day that she would not go ANYWHERE that day- she stayed home all day!

Monday morning, when I called her to find out if she was goin with me to the dr (cause we had not made arrangements) ... my dad was home from work early and I told her not to worry about it - I would just go by myself but as I was telling her "yeah, I'm sure"... I had a flash that the
pant suit that she was looking at was for MY FUNERAL.... Oh my, well I surely didn't say anything to my mom about that... just hurried to get ready to go... I was running late when I left AND I had to stop and get gas (we usually go in her car).... I was thinkin that I hoped I could
even make it to the dr office on time!

It was really rainy here that day... I got right outside of Sylvester (on the Albany side) and my mom calls me having a fit... "Where are you?" The emergency sirens were goin off here in Albany and bad, bad weather heading thru Sylvester and towards Tifton... right in my path...

By this time... I am into the town of Sylvester... all the traffic lights on the main road are out and cops are directing traffic on the three I passed.... I get on the other side of town and start passing emergency vehicles heading back into Sylvester from the other way... What in the world??

Looks pretty bad over towards Tifton... already told mom to call and check on my boys... Called my mom back and she said that the bad stuff is indeed heading to Tifton and I am probably gonna get there about the same time... So I call the dr office and tell them what is goin on and they tell me to just go back home and reschedule...

So I turn around and head back thru Sylvester... emergency vehicles are passing me the whole time... even after I get thru the town... they are still coming into town from the other side! I ran into such bad weather trying to get back home that I had to slow down to almost a crawl and turn my flashers on several times...

When I get home and get on the internet- a friend is worried... tells me that they had a TORNADO go thru Sylvester and he knew that it would have been about the time I would be goin thru there... He did not, of course, know that I was running late leaving the house...

Had I rode with my mom- since she is never late- OR had I been on time leaving town and not had to get gas I would have been goin thru Sylvester right when that tornado hit...

It gives me chills to think that I am sooooo lucky right now- that someone was definitely lookin over me that day... Actually, someone has been looking over me since this whole divorce started- but they took extra steps to protect me on this particular day!

I hope that story touched your heart and gave you a warm feeling like it did me...
Hugs,
Bonnie

Fun Survey...

Fun little survey..... FUN!

Directions:
1. Copy and post this in your blog
2. Bold anything that is true
3. Leave plain anything that is untrue

TAKEN FROM Nancy's BLOG

01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I watch more tv than I used to.
03. I love olives.
04. I LOVE Sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched a porn movie.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart. I'm not a genius, just smart.
21. I've never broken someone else's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I love rain.
24. I'm paranoid at all times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free.
26. I need money right now.
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs.
35. I have a twin.
36. I drink coffee everyday.
37. I couldn't survive without caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
45. I have cheated on a significant other.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my blog.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
64. I wish I were someone else.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I work too much.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I've graduated college.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I have had the cops called on me before.
74. I bite my nails sometimes.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be online.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy country music.
89. I've never gotten a ticket.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you've never met.
102. Kissed someone you knew you shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in 'lust' more than in 'love.'
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the TV show "Lost."
111. I think Beyblades is the coolest show in coolsville.
112. There are more things I could be better at, if only I tried harder.
113. Sometimes I don't like food.
114. I worry sometimes that I'm not being the best friend I could be to the people I care about.
115. I desperately want people to respect me, but it rarely happens.
116. I have never been able to say anything positive about myself and truly believe it.
117. I am bisexual.
118. I think Scottish accents are very attractive.
119. I'm very neurotic and suffer from acute paranoia.
120. I speak another language besides English.
121. I joke about eating.
122. I'm most likely to spend money on music.

'He didn't really wanna talk to me'

"He didn't really wanna talk to me". And the phone gets slammed down... What do you mean, baby?? "He seemed so FAKE, mom".

That is what I had to hear coming from the mouth of my 15 year old son the other night after talking to his dad for the first time in over 6 months. He had made up his mind that he was not talking to him at all. His exact words when I asked him why? "Cause it won't do any good".

Their grandmother (my estranged husband's mother) is on her dying bed... she has been fighting cancer for many years. The phone calls started again... yeah, the same ones... the ones where he tries to make everyone believe that he is trying to call but he hangs up before the caller ID picks up any info. I automatically knew something was up. A few days later I came home to a message on the answering machine from his aunt... requesting that the boys call her concerning their grandmother. I returned the phone call and sure enough- he had them all convinced that he has been trying to call and no one will answer the phone.

I made arrangements for her to call that night (after a lengthy conversation) so that the boys could talk with their grandmother... That is how the 15 year old got on the phone with his dad... his grandmother asked him to talk to his dad for HER... and he said that he wasn't gonna tell her no because she was dying...

I am VERY proud of the two fine young men that reside in this household... they have came a long way in the last year... It is a SHAME that their dad does not appreciate them enough to wanna see them grow up... Maybe they were doing it the whole time and I was just too pre-occupied with a bad relationship to enjoy it!

Whatever is responsible- I'm sure glad that my eyes are open now!!

You cannot imagine how hard that I hope that one day that man will wake up and see what he is doin... To try to make some kind of amends with his boys...

Virtual Hugs... Bonnie

I love fall

Well, it is officially Autumn...

I LOVE fall! When you live in the South, you look forward to the time when the weather gets down a tad below the 90's... There are some great things that you can start enjoying outside once the weather starts cooling off...




Here are a few of my favorites:

Things That Make Me Smile

... Snow in the Mountains
...riding 4-wheelers in the fall and winter

... deep sea fishin' in the Gulf

...Eagles Greatest Hits
...Shrek and Serendipity

... Red Z28 Convertible

... My kids
... the Beach
... Puppies
... Sunflowers


More to come.....

10 Things I'd Like to Learn

1. To speak fluent Spanish
2. How to be organized
3. How to be happy even if I'm bored
4. How to program my own website without WYSIWYG software
5. Calligraphy
6. How to drive, dock, and load my own boat
7. Astrology
8. Tole Painting
9. Woodworking
10. Patience

How Low Can You Go??

I have made an extreme effort above and beyond the call of duty of a mom to not bad mouth the father of my two wonderful teenage boys... the man that I have been married to for over 25 years... the man to which I now have been trying to get divorced from for close to a year!

Not only has he not made any effort to see his kids (much less on a regular basis) but he has not even tried to call his kids either (regular or not)... As things get closer to the end of this divorce... things seem to become grossly out of proportion. Last month his attorney evidently learned that he was not paying his child support/alimony as ordered by the judge... he made him bring the whole amount to him (in order for an extention of a hearing to be granted) so that the money orders could be mailed to my attorney... Granted that this was only a few days before Labor Day weekend and it was quite a bit of money but it's not like he didn't KNOW that it was owed...

Well, obviously this made him furious to no end- so the next thing I find out... Not only my phone but also the power had orders to be turned off... Yes, they were still in his name... I HAD requested the Friday after settlement was reached for him to meet me to get these switched into my name... he failed to show up! The bills go directly to my parents house and are being paid by them...

My final point:
What kinda Man?? What kinda father?? Has the phone and the power turned off at the residence where his kids are at when their grandparents are paying the bills like clockwork- he never even sees them... And not only puts in the notice to do this but doesn't bother telling anyone that it has been done except his attorney... who immediately advised him to have the orders reversed!!

How many times do you have to hurt your own KIDS before you wake up??? You are the one that wanted something else... I just want you to let me go now!!!

It doesn't matter what stunts you try to pull- we WILL make it thru them and I WILL
be divorced from you eventually....

AND I WILL COME THRU THIS WITH MY CLASS INTACT....

10 Things I Love About My Parents

1. They always have an ear or a shoulder available when I'm feeling down.
2. They never judge me- They only listen (Even if it was 5am for Dad and then again at midnight for mom).
3. They always have my best interest at heart- even if I don't see it at the time.
4. They have NEVER said "I told you so"... even if they did tell me.
5. They do not know selfishness when it comes to their family-
6. They protect family with all their might.
7. They have and always will be there for me.
8. They make me laugh when I need it most.
9. They make me cry from joy when I least expect it.
10. They are happy to accept hugs and kisses as payment in full for all they have done (since I will never be able to even come close to repaying them).

I sooooo totally love you guys.... mom and dad.... I hope when I grow up that I'm just like you!

Got the Can't Sleep Syndrome Again

Ever had it?? That toss and turn your body every whicha way to try to get comfortable so you can sleep syndrome?

This actually started many months before the divorce was filed... I had learned over the period of a few weeks it was best for me just to get up... give up the sleep... the brain, the nerves, whatever was keeping me awake was planning on staying just the same til daylight!

I have since talked with many people that have these similar problems... frankly, it really doesn't feel like a problem (once you give in and just get up) til about 1pm the next day...

Send me your comments! Do you have nights like this? What do you do to get settled down enough to go to sleep? And is it really worth it... Is the quality of sleep good after all that trouble??

Keep Smilin'
Bonnie

Keys To My Heart

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

The Perfect Couple...

Maybe I think about things too hard sometimes... Some people I know would definitely tell ya that I do... or so I would imagine that they would.

Don't air your dirty laundry in public!

Ever heard this saying?? What does it mean?? You have problems at home... you keep them at home... you work them out at home. Are you really happy?? You don't even know anymore!

The Perfect Couple...

Analyze that...

Keep Smilin'

Bonnie

Exits Along the Highway

You would think that by now everything would be ironed out as far as the divorce... I mean it's been almost a year... Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just getting started... That sentence within itself brings mixed emotions!

SAD... I'm ready to get on with my life... I'm ready for the good times to roll for me and the boys... even if those good times are just in the backyard grillin (which by the way- they LOVE)... I don't want them to have to suffer anymore over all of this divorce stuff and no matter how hard I try they are indeed suffering!

ANGRY... I'm angry because he (being my soon to be ex) won't let go... He is the one that wanted something different in life... He is the one that wanted another family... And in the end when it came out and I wasn't going thru this whole 'I love my husband unconditionally and will stand beside him and defend him against everyone no matter what he does or has done to me and these boys' scenerio again- well, then it became a different story! He will have to let me go now... because I too, want a different life, if only to be alone and in peace with my kids!

EXCITED... Sometimes you are too close to the problems to realize what they are... I have spent a lot of effort on a marriage and a man that did not appreciate what was here... I'm not mad about that... I'm proud that I was the one that felt real love for my home life and the people in it... but now, I am excited about exploring all the things that I have missed out on in life! I'm excited about my boys getting to explore all the things that they have been missing out on... all the guy things that a dad should have been doing with his sons...

CHEERFUL... I laugh and I smile more now than I have in many, many years! I've always loved having fun... cutting up... being a kid at heart... I'm glad that gal is back again!! And so are those around me that, over the years, watched her slowly slip away...

'Til next time... Smile!
Bonnie

Stops Along the Way

Today's post is simple and sweet...

I feel like I am progressing to a point in my life that I really should have been at long before now... I realize at this point in my divorce that I have spent the majority of my life trying to please a man that never deserved me in the first place. It is a point of mixed emotions... not from the divorce itself but from the loss of time... the memories that I should have but don't... the things I have missed enjoying with my kids, my family, my friends...

My next words are not meant to cause confusion nor conflict in your life...

Step back... way back... take a look around... are you happy? Do you really know your kids? What they like? What their fears are? Their dreams for the future? What about your parents? Do you know how they are? I mean how they really ARE? Have you took the time to sit and chat with them? How about eating supper with them? What are they involved in? Where are all of your friends? Do you even have friends anymore? Have you really listened to what is happening in their world?

I am not suggesting that you leave a relationship that you might be involved in... BUT I am suggesting that you can get so wrapped up in that relationship that you miss out on everything else around you... 'til one day it hits you like a lead balloon and you realize that you cannot remember the last X number of years of your life because all of your efforts have been concentrated in one spot...

You have to have balance to your life... because in the end, the ones that you are neglecting the most now will be the only ones left standing beside you... As you grow older and your faults become much more obvious...

They will be there.... your kids, your family, your friends!

Smile for me today and hug someone special!
Bonnie_W.

Along the Road...

Here I am again... traveling down the road to 'finding myself'... I am extremely grateful for the family and friends that have walked along beside me as I have began this journey.

I have a friend that has been going thru divorce land and all the new situations that come along with this new territory... She, along with my family, has been my greatest comfort to moving on with my life... Last night as I talked with her on the phone, I realized that there can never be a perfect solution to divorce with children involved... no matter what age your kids are.

It amazes me sometimes, to what extent some men will go to try to relieve themselves of having to pay child support. The friend that I am referring to here has two children. She was faced with the conflict last night of her ex husband trying to persuade ONE of the kids to come and live with him... If the child agreed to do this, he would reciprocate by letting her do something that she was wanting to do but her mom could not afford. I should also mention that this particular thing the child is now wanting to do was HIS IDEA in the first place... she did not want to do it to begin with and over the period of several months he has convinced her that it is in her best interest.

This would, mind you, split two sisters apart that have been together everyday since the second one was born. What kind of dad places a child in the situation to make this decision?? What kind of dad assumes that it is beneficial to split two children apart??

Let me add that I understand that they're are some really wonderful dads out there that would not think of doing anything like this (unless other circumstances warranted it)...

STAND UP AND TAKE A BOW!!

You are the true MEN of the world... the ones that remember that the kids are a part of them... You serve as an example to divorced dads that have not quite figured it out yet. The next time you hear a man talking about a his situation with his ex-wife and kids- encourage him to think past what is best for him... encourage him to look at the whole picture... how is this going to effect things down the road?

Don't be afraid to speak out... you may be the only one that makes a difference!

Have a great day and be sure to smile for me!
Bonnie

Finding Yourself...

So what does it mean to 'Find yourself ' ??

I had never really thought about that phrase... until recently... finding myself headed for a divorce after over 20 years with the same man I began to understand the depth of those two simple words...

The meaning that they took on over the next few months was by no description 'simple'... I have made some very crucial discoveries about myself and my life...

Here are just a few:

• My two teenage boys understand more than I even care to explain to them.
• My family has and always will be my greatest support system.
• When your kids hurt- you hurt deeper for them.
• You learn that you can and will do things that you were convinced only your husband could do.
• Overwhelming is only a feeling and it WILL pass.
• Your kids can get thru these things if they believe that there is stablility in their lives.
• You do not have to tolerate harrassment with your ex just because you have kids together.
• Your kids will respect you a whole lot more if you DON'T bad-mouth the other parent or try to be vindictive towards them.
• That your family appreciates hugs and kisses as payment in full for all they do.
• And the biggest thing that I have had to learn... You cannot make a man love and do right by his kids.

These are only a few of the things that I have learned over the last 7 months... and it is part of the slow process to 'finding myself '...

Make sure you smile today just for me!

Hugs,

Bonnie_W.